Crazy Chicago

Ok, so this is a bit off topic but as I was waiting for my cup of tea and sandwich at Barista today and skimming through the local paper when I came across an interesting headline: Man bit off cop's nipple. Hmmm. I've heard of the infamous Mike Tyson incident and about irate women who bit off their husbands' penises, but nipples are a new one.

As it turns out there wasn't much more to this story than the headline revealed: upon trying to arrest a Chicago man for inappropriate and drunken behavior a struggle broke out and the man decided his best option for escape was to attack the poor officer with his teeth, effectively slicing through the man's right nipple. Ouch. Although it was still partially (barely) attached when the officer reached the hospital, nipples are such complex little buggers that there was no hope of reattachment without plastic surgery so unfortunately this officer will be left with one less nipple for the rest of his life. Even if it wasn't as small a structure as a nipple, any kind of bite wound makes it infinitely more difficult to reattach a severed body part due to the irregular tearing pattern from teeth and the amount of bacteria that is transferred to the wound from the human mouth.

In the long run, though, does it really matter if this man gets his nipple back? I mean, guys don't really need them....At the very least it will make for an interesting story the next time the man makes an appearance on the beach.